So, one thing they don’t say here is “pants.” Well, actually they say it frequently, but it refers either to underwear or a bad situation. One might say, “Why does Britney always have her pants sticking out of her trousers?” Trousers, of course, being the English word for pants. One might also say, “this is pants,” and that would mean, in American terms, “I would classify this situation as generally negative.”

I knew this tidbit - as I’m sure many Americans do - before I came to England, and I have been prudent in my use of the above terminology. I have, however, learned about a few words they REALLY don’t say, and thought it would be interesting to make note of them. Following is a list of words they don’t say here, and how I learned that they don’t say them.

Mooch - I unlearned this at an interview.
Interviewer: How are you a UK citizen?
Tiff: Well, my father is English, so I sort of mooched it off of him.
Interviewer: {puzzled expression}
Tiff: Oh, you probably don’t say that here.
Interviewer: (amusedly) No, but I see what you mean.

Chotchkies - I unlearned this at an interview.
Interviewer: So what sorts of things did you sell at _____.com?
Tiff: City-specific merchandise. Anything from New York cheesecakes, to San Francisco sourdough bread, to the usual suspects - t-shirts, caps, mugs, . . . all sorts of little chotchkies.
Interview: {puzzled expression}
Tiff: Hmm. . . That’s what we would call them in New York - it’s just a word for little, insignificant items.
Interview: Oh that’s quite good, yes!

Those are the only terms I can think of right now, but for the record, they also don’t understand Office Space references or baseball. You’ll never guess how I learned that.

Fine print: This is by no means typical of my complete conversations with these folks. Usually I talk about work. In a professional manner. Promise.